The unfortunate thing for most girlfriends is that most of the time, they only feel like they are giving him enough love when in the real sense, they are only choking him. What makes this even more worrisome is that you may never know that you are a clingy girlfriend, and even when he tells you, you may feel like he is only trying to cut you off. Here are some signs that you can check for yourself to see if you are, indeed, being too clingy.
Who Is A Clingy Girlfriend?
A clingy girlfriend is one who always wants more of everything in a relationship. It is important to understand that being a clingy girlfriend does not make you a bad girlfriend. It only means that you do not always feel that you are loved as you should be in a relationship and so you want to establish yourself.
They always feel that they are not loved enough and when they do not check this feeling, it gradually grows into insecurity which may end up ruining their relationship. Most times, a clingy girlfriend is one who is always faithful and true. In fact, she is a great girlfriend. However, she can easily make her boyfriend feel like he is drowning and he needs a little space to breathe.
Important Signs That You Are A Clingy Girlfriend
1. You want more attention than normal
One of the signs that tell of a clingy girlfriend is when you want all the attention in the world from your boyfriend. You feel that no matter what he is doing, you should always be at the center point of it. He should call you at almost every hour of the day and respond to all your messages without abt delay. While checking on you and responding to you are important, there are other things apart from you, that will also demand the attention of your man.
2. You do not know how to allow him to have some space
Another important sign of a clingy girlfriend is that you want him to be with you all the time, and when he is not with you, you want him to either be messaging or calling you. Apart from spending time with you, like a girlfriend who is clingy, you also want him to always have you on his mind and in everything he does.
3. Everyone else is not a good influence on him
When in all honesty, you believe that everyone around your boyfriend is a bad influence on him, and doesn’t want anything good for him, that speaks of being clingy. Because of this, you are never happy when he talks about others that are dear to him or even when he spends time with anyone else, including his friends and family members. You believe they do not mean well for him.
4. You build your entire world around him
It is not a bad thing to have the one you love at the center of your life. However, there is a problem when you destroy everything about yourself and build everything only about your boyfriend, it means there is a problem. What this means is that all your activities from waking up are centered around him and you are not happy when he has any activity that does not have to do with you.
5. When you see him near any girl you feel insecure
There is a red flag of clinginess around you when you get very suspicious and insecure whenever you see him around any other girl. Jealousy is a part of relationships and love, but when you get insecure and you are not happy whenever any girl is close to him or when you see him talking to any other girl, you may want to take a pause as you are heading toward becoming a clingy girlfriend.
6. You want to be in touch all the time and you stalk his social media handles
You are heading towards a path that is not healthy for you and your relationship when you want your partner to be in touch with you at every hour so that you can be sure he is thinking of you and he is not with another person. Beyond that, you also spend your time on social media stalking his every activity including his comments, replies, and the people he follows.
7. You want to change him
A clingy girlfriend is the one that wants to change everything about her boyfriend until he becomes exactly what she wants him to become. When in love, there are adjustments that people must have to do in order to be in the lives of others. However, no one must change who one is entirely to be with someone else. If you want your boyfriend’s life to change into what you want, it is a red flag of clinginess.
8. A clingy girlfriend is always eager to meet his family
A man is never in a rush to take a woman to his family and most especially, to meet his parents. When you begin to put pressure on him to take you to meet his people, it becomes a sign that you want to be in his life by all means. That is not something healthy for your relationship.
9. You want him to always validate his love for you
Yes, there is a need for your partner to make it clear that he loves you and it is important for him to give you some level of assurance. However, it is not normal for you to always ask him if he loves you every single day. If you need constant validation, no matter how hard your boyfriend tries, you can never be satisfied because the problem is from you and not the other way round.
10. Are you always too available for him?
It is not a bad thing to be available for your boyfriend. In fact, it is necessary when he needs you. However, when you are always available in times when he needs you and even when he doesn’t, it sends the wrong signals that may sometimes be interpreted and clinginess. If you have made some plans, you do not have to cancel them just to fit in with what he wants abruptly unless when it is very necessary. More so, it should not be an everyday thing.
Urgent Steps To Take So As Not To Ruin Your Relationship
Your relationship is, without any doubt, heading for doom if you continue to be a clingy girlfriend. Before it gets to that stage, there are some important and very urgent things that you can do to save the situation. Here are things you can do:
1. Give your man some space
This may not be too easy for you, but you need to give him some space, by reducing the time you spend with him, as well as the number of times you speak on the phone. Another thing you may need to do is to limit the duration of time you spend chatting with him whenever he steps away.
2. Show him you are confident
Everyone loves a confident partner. Show your partner that you trust him and you are really not bothered about having to check on him to know where he is and with who. More so, show him that you are not jealous or insecure.
3. Spend some time with your friends and allow him to do the same
The next important thing you will want to do is to spend some time with your friends and not just with your boyfriend, and also allow him to spend some time with his friends.
4. Do not try to rush time
Patience is a virtue you must imbibe when you want to stop being too clingy. Allow things to flow at their pace without rushing to move in with your boyfriend, or rushing to meet his family, or trying to force yourself on him without waiting for time to handle things at its pace.
5. Love yourself some more
Unless you are able to build some level of self-love, you will always be a clingy girlfriend who has lost her life and is dependent on that of her man. Also, if you love yourself, you will make sure that you put yourself at the center of everything you do and not your boyfriend.